Last Updated on Tuesday, 01 February 2011 03:37 Written by U.S Immigration News Tuesday, 01 February 2011 03:25
Dangers of Campus Rape!
Q. My daughter told me recently that her roommate was almost raped while
on a date on their college campus. Her roommate didn’t know this boy well,
so she decided to have their first date on campus. After a few hours, he asked
her to come to his apartment to see something. He had been so nice, she didn’t
think it would be a problem. Once there, he demanded sex and when she refused,
he tried to force her. Luckily, she was able to get away and run to her dorm room.
My daughter tried to get her to tell the police, but she refused thinking that she
was so stupid for going to his room. Could you use your column to educate parents
and college students about date rape on college campuses!
A. That is such a scary and traumatic experience for a young girl or boy. Parents send
their children off to college to obtain higher learning and do not expect their
daughters/sons to be raped or for their sons to become rapists! Let’s not forget, males can
be raped, too. None of us like to discuss this topic. However, it is a must!
Young people, male and female, need to be aware of the facts! Just because they are
18 years old doesn’t mean that they aren’t our children anymore nor that they have the
life experience to handle all situations. First, let’s define rape. Basically, rape is
defined as a sexual act committed against a person’s will.
Rape Facts and Strategies!
The experts at the www.channing-bete.com website and I offer the following facts
and rape prevention strategies for college and high school students:
Signs of an acquaintance or campus Rapist!
Life would be so much easier if people walked around with florescent signs alerting us to their character. Unfortunately, this is not possible. Rapists look like everyone else. There is NO specific way to identify a potential rapist however here are a few characteristics to watch out for.
1. Acts overly macho.
2. Believes that all males and females fit traditional roles.
3. Doesn’t take no for an answer.
4. Ignores personal boundaries.
5. Uses force to solve problems.
6. Acts excessively jealous even by second date.
7. Obsessed with weapons.
8. Acts immaturely.
9. Tries to separate you from friends.
10. Insist on being alone with you on first date.
11. Has a short temper.
12. Demands your attention at inappropriate times.
13. Wants to know more about you than you want to tell.
14. Expects the relationship to be on his/her terms.
15. Views women as children, property, objects of conquest.
What to do if you have been raped!
mean you have to speak with them right away or at all.
Assault line at 1 (800) 656-Hope for further assistance.
to be ashamed of.
Male Rape Victims!
A man’s reaction to being raped is similar in some ways to a woman’s and drastically different in other ways. Boys are raised to be strong, brave and self-reliant. When a man is raped he, feels a tremendous amount of shame. Often men ask themselves ‘why didn’t I fight harder?’ This shame can be compiled with others asking him why he didn’t fight harder. It is also harder for men to tell their female partners. A young college student would probably rather keep it all in, than tell his peers. It might appear to be a sign of weakness and he wants to avoid becoming the target of jokes. A rape survivor himself, Scott Davis, reports in his book Finding Your Marbles and articles ’10 Things to Do if You Are Raped.’
Don’t let these lock you into torment and rid you of your peace of mind and enjoyment of life. Therapy can help you accomplish this.
Visit www.findingyourmarbles.com for more from Scott Davis.
For more safety tips and more information visit: www.rapecrisis.org.nz, www.mencanstoprape.org, www.incestabuse.about.com, www.woar.org,
www.survivor2survivor.org, www.stopcampusrape.com, and www.webpages.charter.net/kpiskur/sign.html.
Lisa-Anne Ray-Byers is a licensed and certified speech-language pathologist who
has worked in education and for more than two decades. She holds
graduate degrees in speech-language pathology and multicultural education. She also
holds certification in educational administration. She is the author of the book, They Say I Have ADHD, I Say Life Sucks! Thoughts From Nicholas available at www.Amazon.com. She is the education editor of the Community Journal newspaper in Long Island, NY. She is currently employed in the Hempstead School District. You may contact her at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or by visiting her website www.AskLisaAnne.com.