A young girl in our Church wrote in a greeting card that was given to me by a group of Church members years ago saying, “You taught me boldness” The message pleased me because I had observed that she had emerge from a timid teenager who always sat by herself in a corner, and was too shy to stand before a crowd to a vibrant young woman. She must have realized that she lacked something essential, because she realized its presence when she got it, therefore acknowledging its addition to the strength of her character. Her self-esteem was enhanced by watching a role model. Fear and uncertainty disappeared.

Self-esteem is two dimensional, high or low. If your self-esteem is high, that's great, but if it's low I would like to help you pump up the volume! What is self-esteem? It is a sense of personal worth and ability that is fundamental to an individual’s identity. Family relationships during childhood are believed to play a crucial role in it's development. Karen Horney says that low self-esteem leads to the development of a personality that excessively craves approval, affection and exhibits an extreme desire for personal achievement. That could be good in itself but if the motivation for personal achievement is because of inferiority, then the enjoyment at every level of growth is absent, just a empty feeling that wants more and more, with no real satisfaction. I call it approval addiction and we know that any addiction is unhealthy.

I read something the First Lady of the United States of America, Michelle Obama said that shows that everyone has some sense of inadequacy at some point but it can be overcome. When she had concerns about attending Princeton University s he said, “Well-meaning but misguided people sometimes questioned whether someone with my background could succeed. I had all kinds of worries and fears and doubts before I entered Princeton University. I worried that I wouldn’t be as well prepared as students who had come from more privileged families. I worried that I wouldn’t fit in somewhere so different from where I had grown up. But after a few months in college, away from home on my own, I realized that I was just as capable and had just as much to offer as any of my classmates. I realized that if I worked hard enough, I could do just as well as anyone else” The fear of going to a new territory could have prevented her from attaining her life’s goals.

Self-esteem and fear. Fear is one of the biggest antagonists of self-esteem. A person who has low self-esteem is usually afraid of many things, for example entering into relationships, confronting challenges or in case of students, taking examinations and so much more. Some men and women especially are so unsure of themselves in the way they look, their abilities, family background and so much more that they choose to stay in the shadows instead of stepping out boldly to take their blessings. You have been created wonderfully in the image of the living God. He breathed His breath into you to give you life. Nothing should be able to take the joy of living away from you! Remember always that whatever makes you afraid or feel less than you are is of the devil!

The Glory of God is upon you. If you are reading this, try to use these words to describe yourself; Self-assured, Confident, Dignified, Prestigious, Honorable, Beautiful/Handsome, Worthy of attention and Very capable. Let the first thought that comes into your mind continuously be, ‘I can do it’ Fear makes a person to have a defeatist attitude. A person who grew up under constant criticism will have low self-esteem, but you can overcome it by giving your life to Jesus Christ. He does not give the Spirit of Fear. His love empowers you to have confidence in the face of every opposition.

Re-invent yourself .All I am saying here is, ‘try something new’ if you have had the same hairstyle for years, it is time to step out of the box and do a make-over. Change your wardrobe, infuse new energy into your home; move the furniture around, change the curtains, travel, visit the dentist. Do something! There is a sense of well-being that comes from attempting new things. Joyce Meyers, a TV Evangelist calls it ‘Enjoying your everyday life Shalom!

Rev. Grace Eledan is founder/President of Women Aflame Intl, a ministry for Women & Youth empowerment. She also Pastors @ Leaders’ Church Intl alongside her husband. She can be reached on 1718 503-2580 or