Recently I watched my husband as he dressed up in the morning and the last thing he usually does is put on his wristwatch and his wedding ring which rest on the same spot on the dresser every night. A thought came to me that, to some people, wearing the wedding ring could just be a habit, something that they have come to do without thinking. Has wearing your wedding ring become a habit instead of a symbol of love and commitment?

Many marriages are a window dressing on the world. They have long lost their flavor and what is left is just an arrangement to keep it together for the sake of the children or the Church or what other people will say. There are many solutions that the world offers such as calling it quits, and getting a new beginning. I came across an interesting website called, www.weddingringcoffin.com. This website has the picture of a small coffin and a caption that says, “Give a dead marriage its proper, final resting place. The wedding ring coffin is the perfect gift for yourself or a loved one for bringing closure after a divorce. It’s time to bury the past and move on to a new tomorrow” For Christians, we believe that Jesus Christ is the resurrection and the life which means that we can take the situation to Him to be revived instead of just giving up.

The wedding ring according to Wikipedia, the free encyclopaedia, “consists of a precious metal ring. In certain countries, it is worn on the base of the left ring finger. In other parts of the world, it is worn on the right finger’’ Such a ring symbolizes marriage: a spouse wears it to indicate a marital commitment to fidelity. The European custom of wearing such a ring has spread widely beyond Europe. Many promises are made during the presentation of the rings. Some couples write their own vows while others follow the traditional recitation from their religious organizations.

The Church of England handbook (1662 Book of Common Prayer) helps the priest to lead the couple to make this confession to each other. “With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen” The Roman Catholic Church makes the commitment as follows, “take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

The Jewish tradition will say, “With this ring, you are consecrated to me according to the Law of Moses & Israel” This is said in Hebrew by the groom at an orthodox Jewish wedding by both the bride and groom at a reformed Jewish wedding”

The Eastern Orthodox have their own recitation for commitment which after being read, the Priest makes the sign of the cross with the ring over the bridegroom’s head, and the same over the bride.

There are also those who do not believe in the use of the ring and make verbal pronouncements for consecration to each other. Whatever way the commitment was made, it is sacred and must be guarded very well.

Respect for Your Spouse is important

The occasion upon which the rings are exchanged is always a happy one. The ring becomes insignificant when there is no more understanding, constant arguments, lukewarmly and disrespect which create a gap that gets wider and wider every day. My advice to women who are confronted with this situation is to examine themselves concerning the way they relate to their husbands. A man is fully aware of his superior role in the home and must be treated as such. If a woman is too domineering, the chances are that she will push the man away. For a man who is not yielded unto God, that creates an opportunity to seek comfort in the arms of another woman.

The word of God  states that, “Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church ... therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything” This submission of course is based upon the word of God because an unbelieving husband cannot make you go against the word of God. In that case you must take a stand but with humility.

Do not be the wife that raises your hand to slap your husband or put all of his negative business out among your friends or community because it will be hard to dress him up again. I can hear some women say that their actions in teaching him a lesson is right, but the counsel of God is that you should let Him fight for you.

Rev. Grace Eledan can be reached @ (718) 503-2580 or visit www.womenaflaneintl.net

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