This is the month of my birth and a special one too because I am entering into my jubilee. This event has caused me to reflect a lot about where I came from, where I am and where I am going.

Everyone has some defining story or stories attached to their lives that can be a learning experience for a younger or even older person. There is the story of a young girl in 1Samuel 13:1-20 named Tamar. She was the sister of Absalom who was King David’s son. This meant that she was a princess. Her half brother Amnon became so obsessed with her beauty that he became ill. He knew he could not have her because she was a virgin. Amnon had a crafty friend who advised him to pretend to be sick and ask for Tamar to prepare food and bring it to his room. He thought it was a good idea and she innocently agreed when the king instructed her to cook for him.  When she got to his room, he dismissed all the servants and started a proposition for sex. She cried and begged, reasoning with him about the consequences of the action but he overpowered her and raped her.

1Kings 13:15 states, “Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. Get out of here! he snarled at her.” Tamar told him that “by sending me away now is worse than what you’ve already done to me.” He would not listen to her but instructed his servants to “throw this woman out and lock the door behind her!” She tore her beautiful robe and put ashes on her head like someone in mourning.

There was a chain of events that resulted from this assault on womanhood but the bottom-line here is that there are many women who have been raped by fathers, brothers, family friends, or total strangers who have no one to stand up for them like Tamar whose brother Absalom ordered Amnon killed two years later.

The story of Tamar mirrors some of the things that women encounter. The other woman that went through so much was Tamar the daughter-in-law of Judah as recorded in Genesis Chapter 38. Tamar had the misfortune of marrying a man who even the Bible calls wicked. Er was the first born of Judah, one of the patriarchs. God took his life because he was wicked. Tamar was then required to marry Onan, her brother-in-law so that she can have children. He also was not willing to have a child who would not be his own heir so anytime he had intercourse with her; he would spill his semen on the floor. God was also angry with Onan for this so He took his life also.

At this point Judah sent Tamar away to her parent’s house saying that his youngest son was too young to marry but the real reason was that he was afraid that if he was married to Tamar, he too would die. Tamar at this point was probably already thinking that she was cursed. The community around her too must have been making judgments concerning her situation because people are always quick to put labels on others based on what they think they know about their situation.

The stories of the two Tamars is the story of a lot of women who throughout their lives continue to blame themselves for circumstances not orchestrated by them. The events in the life of a child of God are ordered by Him for His purpose to be fulfilled in the life of that person.

DO NOT CONDEMN YOURSELF

The Bible states in Genesis 38:14 “And she put her widow’s garments off from her … Tamar decided that her life is not over. She decided to come out of depression. The book of 1John 3:20 states, “For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart and knoweth all things” The mother of our Lord Jesus Christ was submissive to the will of God when it was told her that she will conceive by the Holy Ghost. Her reply was, “…let it be to unto me according to thy word” even though she knew that she would probably be stoned to death for becoming pregnant out of wedlock. The will of God was uppermost in her heart. 

The story of your life is not complete until Jesus becomes the Lord of your life. No matter what you have gone through, He is able to keep your feet steady.

This will be continued next month with some personal testimonies to help strengthen anyone in need. Till then remain blessed.

Re. Grace Eledan can be reached @ (718) 503-2580 or visit www.womenaflameintl.net or www.peopleoffaithchurch.org   

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