The society is shaped from the home. Women have a great influence on their children and so every mother must be careful with the seeds they plant in the minds of their children. The seed of bitterness, discord and distrust once planted are very hard to evacuate. Our children love us and will do anything to protect us if they feel that our lives or integrity are threatened in any way.

The story of the death of John the Baptist in the Bible typifies the great evil that can come from a bad mother’s influence over her children. In the gospel of Mark chapter 6 from verse 17 to 29, it is recorded that King Herod had married his own brother’s wife. This according to the law of the Lord is adultery. John the Baptist had told him at the time that it was not lawful for Herod to have her. Verse 19 states that, “therefore Herodias had a quarrel against him, and would have killed him; but she could not.” This was because Herod feared John, ‘knowing that he was a just man and holy.’ He therefore kept a watch on him until he found a convenient day to arrest him.

The day of doom was Herod’s birthday. He held a party for his lords, high captains and chief estates of Galilee. His daughter came in, danced and pleased Herod and his guests. Herod then said to her, “Ask me whatsoever you will and I will give it to you.” He even swore that he would give her up to half of his kingdom. At this point she went to her mother to ask for counsel as to what to request. “What shall I ask? She said and her mother replied, “The head of John the Baptist.” Remember that John the Baptist had offended her when he told them it was wrong for her to leave her husband for the King. She was probably enticed by the riches of Herod’s kingdom and the role she stepped into as Queen. Herodias’ daughter, wanting to please her mother rushed back to king Herod and demanded for the Head of John the Baptist on a platter. Although the king was sorry at what he had to do, he went ahead and ordered the execution of John. The executioner went and beheaded him in prison and brought his head in a charger and gave it to the girl. She in turn presented it to her mother.

We are called to Peace

I believe that the incident above would have left scars in the mind of that girl when reality sets in, and these scars could last a lifetime. There are some who when they have a disagreement with their husbands instigate the children against their fathers, albeit we may argue that some of these men deserve what they get, but God has called us to peace. Sometimes, there is ongoing strife amongst family members because adults have offended one another. There is the case of a family of two sisters who throughout their adult lives remained at loggerheads with each other. The ongoing disagreement has affected the relationship between their children so much so that there has been no contact between them for upwards of twenty years. Each of these sisters professes Christianity. The word of God teaches us better.

The book of 1 Corinthians chapter 13 in the Bible teaches us to love one another unconditionally. Verse 4 states that love is longsuffering and is kind. If that is so, we must be able to contain our emotions. We have heard of situations where Church leaders have instigated the congregation against other pastors they disagree with. Pastors are spiritual parents to their congregants and must be good examples of the unconditional love of God. Our allegiance is to God and to obey his set rule, which is to love Him with all our hearts and to love our neighbors as ourselves.

Charge to Mothers

The Bible tells us that though we have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though we have all faith, so that we could move mountains, and have no love, we are nothing. I agree that we can be hurt so deeply, justly or not, but we have the word of God to create a balance so that we do not drag our children into a war that can sometimes last a lifetime if the situation is not arrested.  The circle of bitterness must be broken. The Bible charges us to, “Be angry but sin not. Do not let the sun go down on your anger”

Conflicts must be resolved speedily. If you ask your children not to greet your friend who has now become an enemy, what are you doing better than an unbeliever? If you only greet those who greet you or those you are happy with, you are not yet fulfilling the law of love. Teach your children to be objective and to operate under the rule of love. 1 John 4:8 lets us know that he that has not love, does not know God, for God is love.

If you have an ongoing strife with a husband, friend, coworker or family member, it is time to forgive and let go. The army that we are supposed to be mobilizing is the army of God unto good works, and not an army of angry people who shout, ignore or twist and gyrate their finger in the face of a friend turned enemy. The prayer time in the house may even be turned into warfare against this visible enemy. If you are the opposition and meet a child from the other family, you already know that you are out of favor. You can easily take the first step towards peace.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.” (Colossians 3:16) You cannot do this when you cannot forgive those who have offended you. If you have seen yourself in the picture above, make amends for peace in Jesus’ name.

Grace Eledan can be reached @ (718) 503-2580.

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